lets talk about breakdown

i don't know how to put this in word*seriously*

but

i guess I'm having my age-changing transition period.

currently having:

Migraine + pelvic pain + swollen tonsil + fever + flu + unstable emotion

I have been having lotsa major breakdown:

1. having the thoughts that i had make a wrong decision by joining the teacher training college (seriously--like every hour of the day! lol...)

2. Had major fight (s) with 349427 and yet till now i can't figure out what we actually fought over!

3. I'm mentally,physically, and emotionally confuse about my sexuality: asexual or homosexual?

(to be true: I seriously can't have anything with girls nor can I imagine myself with a man??? how to account that?)

4. Is it wrong to be jealous? okay... Imagine if you text somebody and say Good night and they don't reply but you find out that when SOMEONE else text them(even 1 am in the morning!!!!!!), they reply! how ironic!

(ok,maybe I'm just being too overly jealous, but I can still sense how reluctant they are to me and yet they are close to me!)

5. I am seriously confuse about my relationship with 349427, we agreed that we are really-really-really-very-close friend and yet sometimes i feel that we are very far. and dear, if you are to read this, I'm sorry....

(I seriously need to let go.....sheesh....enough lah Rayyan!)

6. I'm lost....very lost! comparing my 1st post on this blog to the recent one make me go GAGA all over myself! what have gotten into me? what happen to the boy back in 2008? or is this the really me? yawww...

well life itself is an irony:

funny how life is an irony...what has made us weak can make us stronger, what has made us sad, can make us happier, waht angers us, may one day make us smile... Noor Hanim, 2010

and

whatever happen:

i just wanna live

happily

please......

that is all i want GOD....

ps: congrats to me---this my my 100th post...:0